Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
