i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Randomize
