I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
