went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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