doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Drunk is not a location!
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