i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
