2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Randomize