I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
