so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize