hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize