have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
