sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
