It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
