I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
