Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Two words: nipple clamps
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