BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
