i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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