I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
