I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
