Can i not drive my cunt home
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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