didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize