look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Randomize
