Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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