I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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