If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
