I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
operation harelip BJ is a go
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
