She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
