He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
