Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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