hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
