don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
