Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Let's get the cat blown out
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
