i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
