If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize
