I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
