bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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