Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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