"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Randomize
