Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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