my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
