It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
