Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
My vagina is very pro this idea
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
