It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
