considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
