So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
