Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
