If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
