Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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