is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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