even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
