YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
