dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
