Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Four minutes until I can fart!
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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