Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
