Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
