I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
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