I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
