I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
