i'm signing you up for texting rehab
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
