Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
