Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize
