It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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