Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize