I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize