it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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