Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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